Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Onderland & Other randomness

It finally happened! I'm back in Onderland!
I'm part of a "Fit Camp" group on Facebook, and it's always a huge deal and a big celebration when someone gets to "Onderland." Don't get me wrong, I'm happy! It just makes me think about how much more I have to loose, and how I shouldn't have gotten here in the first place. But I will celebrate, just a little bit for now.

I had parent teacher conferences again last night until 8. Last time I had my dinner all planned out, and ended up eating in the lounge, and eating things I shouldn't. So I got up early in the morning to pack my lunch/dinner, and realized we didn't have anything to pack. (I need groceries, ya'll!) So, I decided I would leave school, eat, and come back before conferences started. I made plans with Drew to meet him at McDonald's(yes, don't judge. It is fast/close)  immediately after work. I ate a plain grilled chicken sandwich, a medium fry, and a large diet coke. I figured I would get hungry later, and to keep myself away from the lounge, I also took a salad back with me. I did SO good until I needed to use the restroom.  :( Ate a little corner of a brownie. It didn't throw me completely off plan, but I wish I had more willpower! 

Since conferences there has been more and more junk in the lounge, and it's only going to get worse with holidays just around the corner. I took a break from my typical Special K lunch in my room, but I am starting back with it tomorrow. I just can't be around that food right now, I'm not strong enough to not eat it!

I haven't updated on my C25K training for awhile. Today was week 5 day 3, and the first time of running 20 minutes straight. I was super scared, but guess what? I DID IT!! It wasn't even that bad!!! I almost did 3 miles just in 20 minutes! :) I was very proud of myself, and it gave me confidence that I can do the 5K on Thanksgiving just fine. 

In other news, I got my Fitbit today in the mail!!! I am SUPER excited about knowing exactly how many calories I am burning during the day. It also tracks your sleep, which will be interesting to see! I'll keep you all updated on what I learn. 

Oh, and before I go, my very first giveaway will start tomorrow! Get excited! Check back tomorrow to enter! 
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Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Why I started blogging

Around the time I got on the scale at my heaviest weight in September, my church was going through a series called “Masquerade.” My pastor talked about how each of us has something we hide. Many of us try to act like everything is perfect. If someone asks how we are, we always say, “Great!” or “Fine!” Every single person battles something in their lives. For me, it’s food. For others, it might be addictions to alcohol, drugs, affairs, or something else entirely. YOU know in your heart what you struggle with.
            This was a quote from the message this past Sunday, “Whatever that step may look like,  we click on the website,  we take that drink, we smoke that item, we spend that money, we start that gossip,  whatever it may be...we take the next step now that we’ve rationalized it in our own minds.” This was HUGE for me to hear. I am constantly battling in my own head of whether or not to eat something. We ask ourselves, “I wonder if this will really hurt me that bad” or “I wonder if I’ll get caught” or “I’ll bet this isn’t really that wrong after all” or “This doesn’t affect me like it does everyone else.”  Or we approach it from the angle that “everybody is doing it, it’s not just me.”  And we begin to reason, and we ultimately fall for a lie and the enemy has victory in our lives.
A verse from Matthew hits the nail on the head.

Matthew 6:22-23(NLT)Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness.

I’ve started filling my house with healthy foods. I literally MADE my husband take his s’mores pop tarts into his truck and keep them there. I do not buy anything at the store that might tempt me to start thinking about food in a way that I shouldn’t. I do not want that temptation to eat them. I want be successful, and if my eyes fall on something I shouldn’t be having, it might cause weakness and cause me to fail.Cross references:John 8:44 : 1Jn 3:8

The biggest thing heard on that Sunday in September was that I need to be held accountable. I need to let others know my struggles. I cannot claim to be a follower of Christ and claim to be perfect. I am FAR from perfect, and my biggest struggle is dealing with overeating. So I made this blog, told my husband about my problems and my ugly past, and now I’m moving forward.
Proverbs 28:13 (NLT) People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.

If I can give you ANY sort of advice, it would be this: You need to get someone in your life who knows what you are going through.  If you’re the only person who knows your secrets, you’re in a bad place. You need to tell someone what you are thinking and feeling. A person or group who knows what areas you are most likely to mess up in. People who know what questions to ask to find out how things are really going in that area. And people who know you well enough to know if your fibbing when you try to cover it up.

You are that for me. You all are keeping me accountable. YOU will know when I’m not at my best. I am so grateful for each and every person reading this page at this very moment. You are helping me to overcome something I’ve battled with for a very long time.

So to all of you, thank you. YOU are the reason I started blogging.
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Monday, October 29, 2012

11 things you didn't know about me

I have been nominated for the Liebster Award!!
The Liebster Award is something that bloggers give out to other bloggers
who have less than 200 followers, but should have more.
Thank you so much for thinking of me Emilie from Inch by Inch and Step by Step!

The rules, should you be nominated:
1. If you were nominated, post 11 things about yourself
2. Then answer the 11 questions the person who nominated you created
3. Create 11 more questions to ask the bloggers you decided to nominate
4. Choose 11 bloggers to nominate with less than 200 followers

5. Make sure and let these people know you nominated them! No tag backs, so don't nominate someone who nominated you. 

Whew! Here goes!

11 things I've never told you about me:

  1. Both sets of my grandparents used to be Amish. Yep, buggies and everything. 
  2. I started studying music at college. Stuck it out for a year, and switched to teaching. 
  3. My most embarrassing moment was when I sang the National Anthem for Elkhart County's 4H fair. I messed up the words. :(
  4. I've never broken a bone.
  5. I sing in my church's band, and I love it. 
  6. I am probably one of the most organized people you'll meet. I write EVERYTHING down and put everything on my calendar. 
  7. I do #6 because I'm ADD. A lot of people say that, but I really am. It's diagnosed, yo! That's why I write so poorly, by thoughts are all over the place.
  8. I was in a sorority in college, Alpha Chi Omega. It wasn't your "typical" sorority. They are some of the most amazing women I've ever met. 
  9. I love to cook and create new recipes, just wish I had more time for it. 
  10. I love reading, although I try not to read during the school year. I get sucked in and everything else goes by the wayside. 
  11. My favorite TV shows are Grey's, Private Practice, Office, Parks & Rec, Once upon a time, Nashville, Son's of Anarchy, and Weeds. Wow, when I look at that list it looks like I have no life. I hardly ever watch them! I'm quite behind on many of these, actually. 
11 Questions from Emilie:
  1. What is your first and most clear childhood memory that you have?- I remember fighting with my bother a LOT. He is two years younger than me and we fought CONSTANTLY. I also remember my dad playing with me. He worked days and my mom worked nights, so we spent a lot of time with dad. 
  2. If money and time were not issues, where would you travel to and why? First I would go to Scotland. This is where I wanted to study abroad, but changing my major wouldn't allow be to do that. Then I would just travel all around the world. I ADORE traveling! 
  3. When you were little, what did you want to be when you 'growed' up? I remember wanting to be a judge. My maiden name is Drudge so I would have been "Judge Drudge" hahaha
  4. Where did you have your first kiss? Walking by the little league fields in my hometown. Romantic, I know.
  5. What is the one thing in this world that no amount of money or coaxing could ever make you do? Anything to do with hurting my husband.
    1. What challenge will you conquer in 2013? I WILL conquer my struggle with my weight. 
    2. If you woke up on a deserted island tomorrow morning, what are the 3 most important things you'd want with you and why? I would say phone/computer but I wouldn't have internet. I'd say food, water, and shelter. Boring, I know. 
    3. Who do you not want to ever read your blog and why? People from my past. It scares me that they might know how much I weighed when I started this journey. I know they'll see it sometime, though. 
    4. What was the catalyst that led you to blogging? I was actually going to blog about this today and then I was nominated for this, so I'm saving it for tomorrow. :) Stay tuned! 
    5. What's the one life lesson you hope to teach your children/nieces/nephews? Love yourself for who you are. No one else matters. 
    6. Where is your favourite place in the whole, entire world? Wow, this is a hard one. I really love the beach. Hearing the waves, it clears my head and heals my soul. 

    My 11 nominees are:
    1. Sarah from Challenge Excepted
    2.after looking FOREVER for blogs to choose for this, I realized EVERYONE has done this already! If you have a blog and haven't been nominated, leave me a comment and I will add you! 

    My 11 Questions for the 11 bloggers I've chosen: 
    1. What is your most prized possession? 
    2. If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    3.  What is your proudest moment?
    4.  What is your most embarrassing moment?
    5.  If you could go back and re-do one event, what would it be?
    6.  What is one thing you wish you knew as a teenager that you know now?
    7.  If you could travel anywhere you wanted for 1 week, where would you go?
    8. What is your favorite sports team?
    9. What is your favorite movie?
    10. Who is someone you look up to the most?
    11. What is your favorite blog?

    Stay tuned! Tomorrow, I'm sharing why I started blogging! 

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    Saturday, October 27, 2012

    New Blog Design!

    If you've been following me for some time, you may have noticed some changes around here. I am SO excited about the new design!! 

    Chrissy Boerman did it for me and she is amazing. She is a wonderful God loving woman, and was such a pleasure to work with. Visit her website if you are interested in her work!

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    Friday, October 26, 2012

    Date nights!

    Are we the only couple that takes FOREVER to decide where we are going to eat?! It took us a half hour today to decide!
    Drew was sweet and offered to take a picture for my blog! haha

    Every Friday night my husband and I go out. This is something we budget for and we plan every week. It's actually pretty easy for me to eat healthy now, although sometimes I just plan ahead and get a good workout in before we go to "splurge" and allow myself something I wouldn't normally eat.

    If/when we have children, we will probably not be able to do this every week. I like to think we would still find time to spend alone with each other though.

    Here are a few of my go to main dish choices when we eat at a restaurant:

    -small steak, ordered without butter
    -grilled chicken breast
    -mahi mahi (no butter)
    -fried rice made with no butter or oil(LOVE a place near me that does this!)
    -taco salad no shell, extra lettuce

    For side dishes I almost always order a salad, dressing on the side. I give croutons to Drew (empty calories and they really aren't THAT good). I also usually choose one of the following;

    -Steamed veggies (no butter)
    -Baked potato (no butter or sour cream) see a trend?
    -egg drop or Japanese onion soup

    Another great trick is to box up half of a meal before you even start eating. I do this when I'm eating something I don't want to eat too much of (pasta,creamy or fried dishes).

    I NEVER order desserts or drinks of any kind. I usually order water and drink some of my husbands diet coke/Pepsi. Yes, we are cheapos. Don't judge.

    When possible, I'll look up menus and nutrition facts beforehand and plan ahead. I'll even log my food on MFP before I go. It helps me make my decisions so I don't succumb to other delicious choices in front of me! I am a bread lover, and never deprive myself of having a roll or biscuit if they come with a meal.

    What are some tricks you've learned while eating out? Is it hard for you? I LOVE reading your comments!

    Thursday, October 25, 2012

    Work in progress

    I went through a very long period when I would NOT go out. I wouldn't go out to meet friends, I hated get-togethers, and I refused to even see my family. Drew was always supportive, and would do whatever I needed. Sometimes I said I didn't feel well, sometimes I was tired. But the real reason I wanted to stay home was because..... I was fat.

    I honestly didn't realize that's why I wanted to stay home. This is something my mom actually helped be verbalize. I finally talked to her about never waning to do anything. I WANTED to go out and have fun, and I would even make plans. But I would never follow through. She asked if I was embarrassed of my weight.After she said those words I was angry with her. I got defensive and argued with her about it. But once I got home and was able to think about it, I knew she was right.

    I made more of an effort after that to leave my house and get out more. But it's still hard for me to go places where I might see people who haven't seem me in awhile, for fear of their judgement.

    It's getting easier now that the lbs are coming off, and clothes are fitting just a bit better. I feel myself gaining more confidence with each day. I still don't look great, but I'm okay with that because I'm a work in progress. In proud of myself for turning my life around. I'm proud of how far I'm running. I'm proud of myself for being healthy. And I'm especially proud that I'm losing weight in a healthy way.
    Yes, my scale says candy corn. I'm doing a weight loss challenge :)
    I'm down 14.2 lbs. The more I lose = the more confidence I gain!

    Have you ever stayed home because you were embarrassed or lacked confidence?

    Wednesday, October 24, 2012

    A day in the life

    I always love when bloggers post what they do on a typical day. I find it interesting, and it gives me a different perspective of their life. I thought I might try it too! 

    4:40 am- Drew kisses me goodbye and leaves for work. I usually half wake up, and then fall back asleep. 
    5:30 am- wake up, check email, take my Jeffrey out, put in contacts and get changed for my workout 
    5:50 am- start my workout (typically right now is 30DS) 
    Jeffrey wines the ENTIRE time
    I am working out

    6:20 am- finish workout, get in shower

    6:30 am- get dressed
    6:40 am- put on makeup, style hair
    6:55 am- eat breakfast
    7:05 am- take Jeffrey out one more time, get water and lunch ready
    7:10 am- put Jeffrey back in cage, head out for work/school (I am a teacher, so work/school is the same for me!) 
    7:20 am- arrive at school (7:30 is our contracted time). Get ready for kids to arrive
    7:40 am- children arrive happy to see me! It's the best start to my morning. 
    8:10 am- teaching

    10:35 am- my lunch starts ( I KNOW!!! WHO EATS THAT EARLY?!) I have Special K red berries and almond milk for lunch almost everyday. 
    11:00 am- recess duty or get ready for teaching
    11:15 am- recess ends, bring kids back inside. Teach
    2:30 pm- bell rings, take children to busses
    2:50 pm- meetings & I eat a snack
    3:45 pm- head home
    4:00 pm- get workout clothes on, strap on my iPhone and Polar HRM
    4:40 pm- run
    5:30 pm- rinse off in shower
    5:45 pm- Cook dinner, eat 
    Skinny mini chicken pot pies.
    Recipe here. 

    6:45 pm- clean up dinner, clean up house, pack hub's lunch
    7:00 pm- work on a blog post for ya'll :)
    8:00 pm- complete some grad school work or check all my sites that I love
    This is Jeffrey's typical place
    while I work

    9:00 pm- in bed, usually reading or still browsing the internet
    9:30 pm- (or before) Bed time! 
    • This is a "normal" schedule for the past week and a half or so. I coached volleyball, so on practice days I would get home around 5:30 and game days I wouldn't be home until 9 or later. Yeah, it was awful. I'm still not sure how I got everything done when I was coaching. It was madness. 
    • Before I started running, I would get home and start making dinner. I was starving! It really stinks having lunch so early. My husband eats at 11:00, so he doesn't mind eating dinner at 4. 
    • HAVE to have 8 hours of sleep. I cannot function if I go more than 2 days with less than 8 hours of sleep. It's almost guaranteed that I get sick. I don't know how I would ever be able to have kids. 

    Tuesday, October 23, 2012


    There are an insane amount of gadgets that runners are obsessed with. Have the few that I own and couldn't do without.

    Currently I am using a Polar FT4 heart rate monitor. I wear it to run, 30DS, walk, jump, fly (kidding). Whenever I do something that I consider a "work out" I wear it. Then, I just plug in the calories I burned into MFP, and I can figure out how much to eat. Oh, it's also completely waterproof (all parts) so it was nice to use during water portions of bootcamp! 

    The next gadget I use is my iPhone4s. This is my #1 gadget and I could NOT run without it. My favorite apps are

    • Pandora- currently set to "workout radio"
    •  Map My Run- tracks  how far I run and how fast
    •  C25K app- helping me train for my 5k
    • MFP (Obviously)

    My hubs bought me an early birthday present that I LOVE. Jaybird Freedom Sprint headphones. They are amazing. I used to have the apple headphones, and my ears are just so small they would fall out all. the. time. These have different size buds and pads, so the smallest ones work perfectly for me. They are wireless except to connect the two around the back of your head. I LOVE these! They never fall out, great sound quality, and completely waterproof. Can you get any better than that? 

    Lastly I use my iPhone armband. I think the link I used has it listed for like $.10. You can't beat that. This thing was cheap, works well, and was big enough for my arms (which are HUGE.) I'm happy with it. 

    What are some of your favorite gadgets to workout with?

    Monday, October 22, 2012

    Why "cheat" meals don't work for me

    Many people swear by having a "cheat" meal once a week while losing weight. They say it helps them not to go crazy when dieting. Now, while I agree that allowing yourself to have foods you love is a good thing, for me, a "cheat" meal does more harm than good. 

    Let me give you an example of why cheating+Emily=bad news. This past weekend I decided to try a cheat meal. My husband and I decided to eat at Chili's and go to a movie afterward. I decided I would have a fatty pasta dish, and desert. After eating my pasta, (which was HORRIBLE by the way)I decided instead of dessert, I would get popcorn. After eating 1 small popcorn,(WITH butter) I felt awful. Went to sleep feeling awful, woke up feeling awful, and ended up puking it all back up. Lovely, I know. 

    Fast forward to today, and I'm still craving crap. I ate a pop-tart, ate wings and french fries for dinner, and i'm still craving junk. This is why I cannot have a cheat meal. I always need to stay in my calories, no matter what. I feel disgusting after I go over, and end up getting sick. It just doesn't work for me.

    I am in NO WAY am I suggesting you should not have a cheat meal. This is just my personal issue. I cannot cheat and still lose weight. I hope I remember this next time I am craving something. I will have it, but make sure to do it within my calorie range. When I'm over (like tonight) I will do an extra workout to burn those calories. 

    Do you allow yourself a cheat meal or cheat day? What does it look like? 

    Saturday, October 20, 2012

    10lb progress pictures

    10 lbs down, 70 to go. 

    Skinny Cinnamon Rolls

    Yesterday, before we ate my homemade tacos (made with turkey, of course,) I was craving sweets BIG TIME. I kept thinking about a yummy cinnamon roll. mmmmmm. I decided to quickly put something in the oven that could possibly treat my sweet tooth. I found a tube of reduced fat crescent rolls, added cinnamon, honey, and Splenda, and rolled it up. I'm not kidding when I say it took less than 5 minutes. I didn't even measure, I just grabbed things and went for it. 

    They turned out sooooo good. Seriously, you need to try these if you are craving cinnamon rolls.  I tried to guess how much I used of each thing. Really though, you can just eyeball it, unless you are counting calories (ME!) and then you should probably measure. Also, I just left mine in a big roll, but next time I make this I will slice them and bake them in a pan like cinnamon rolls. 

    Here is what you need:

    1 can reduced fat crescent rolls
    4 tsp splenda
    2 tsp cinnamon
    2 TBS honey

    Roll out crescent rolls onto a pan. Spread honey on rolls. Sprinkle cinnamon and Splenda on top of honey. Re-roll and slice into 8 cinnamon rolls. Bake at 375ยบ for 12 minutes. Remove and enjoy!!
    Makes 8 cinnamon rolls
    Calories- 116
    This is what my roll looked like.

    After sliced
     My husband LOVED these, and I did too! I think next time I might also add some sort of frosting. I found this online and I will probably use it next!

    Sugar Glaze by splenda


    1 1/4 cups splenda
    3 tablespoons milk

    1/2 teaspoon Clear Vanilla Extract

    Stir milk into sugar. Add vanilla. Drizzle on cinnamon rolls
    May be thickened with splenda sugar or thinned with milk or other flavored liquids.
    YIELD: 1/2 cup.

    If you try this, let me know what you think!

    Friday, October 19, 2012

    Baring it all.

    I havee gone back and forth about posting this ever since I started my weight loss journey.  I've even started writing it a few times, only to delete the few lines I had the courage to type out. I might regret doing this, but I think in order for me to move forward, it would be good for you all to know where I am coming from. 

    In September, I weighed myself and broke down. I had let myself go entirely, and knew I was over 200 lbs. I had been there before, and figured I was somewhere around 207 or so. I stepped on the scale, and 215.8 glared back at me. 

    I had never been that heavy in my entire life, but there I was, and I needed to do something. I needed to change my life. I decided that day that I was done with the yo-yo of weight loss, and I wanted to be healthy for good. 

    Growing up, I was in many sports and was very active. Through high school I participated in Volleyball year round, which included private lessons, camps, and travel teams. My weight would climb from time to time, but I never considered myself overweight until my senior year. I was around 170 if I can remember right. 

    Then college came, and I would yo-yo yet again. My average was around 180-190. I was around 207 when I got engaged, and went on the Dukan Diet. This diet has different "phases," basically no carbs except for a tablespoon a day of oat bran. Yeah, not fun. Even though that diet was very tough, I was down to 169 on my wedding day. I felt amazing. I wasn't skinny by any means, but I felt beautiful. After the honeymoon, I just gained it all back. Plus some. Obviously. 

    I've done weight watchers (3 or 4 different times), Dukan Diet, Advocare, Nurtisystem, Adkins, South Beach, grapefruit diet, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head. Sad, I know. I've also read many weight loss books, including Skinny B%$#(which is FILTHY by the way), Made To Crave(good!), and taken weight loss pills (ally, and some others.) Most of these things have ranged from crazy to just downright stupid. I know I have harmed my body in the process, and I am not proud of that.  

    This time around, I am not doing any crazy diets. Diets don't work. You have to change your lifestyle. Weight Watcher's is a great program, and if you are looking for a program, I would definitely recommend it. But WW costs money that we just don't have, and I've tried it so many times, I know I can do it on my own. Instead of counting points, I'm counting calories. I use an app called My fitness pal (I will refer to it on this blog as MFP) and it helps me track my calories in, and calories out (exercise.) I am currently training for a 5K, and doing the C25K Program. I am also doing 30DS on my off days. 

    So there it is, folks. I will be updating on my progress. As of this morning, I now weigh 202.2 lbs. That's 13.6 lbs lost so far.  My ultimate goal is 135, so 67 lbs to go. 

    I have bared it all for you to see. I hope that you will follow along and grow  shrink with me!

    Thursday, October 18, 2012

    Rewind, unwind

    Today is a bit of a rewind, unwind day for me. I decided yesterday that today was going to be my "rest day." Then after I wrote that, I thought "Hey, I could at least go to the gym and do some upper body weight lifting!" Unfortunately, my hubby saw my post, and when I told him my idea, he said no. Haha, love that man- he's just looking out for me. He wants me to take 2 weeks off running to heal my shin splints. Two weeks! Sorry, not happening. I'll try a day and see how that goes.  

    Yesterday evening I went ahead and bought some new running shoes. We went to a little place in South Bend called Metro Run & Walk.  The guy at the store took me outside to watch me run, and helped me pick shoes that would be best for me. I was very impressed! He told me I pronate just a little, but it wasn't horrible. He started me off in some shoes with less support, but it was killing my shin splints. Next I tried Brooks Adrenaline GTS 12.When I tried these, I immediately liked them. They were just enough cushion and support for me. My shin splints still killed when I ran with them, but he told me these should take care of the problem, and told me I shouldn't have to buy any compression socks or anything. So that was good news! 

    Here is a pic of my new bad boys.

    At $117, these better fly me across the finish line. 
    They were very expensive, but hopefully it will take care of my shin splints. Plus, they are my birthday present from my mom, so that helps out too! 

    Since the hubs and I had driven all that way (40 minutes to South Bend) we decided to eat dinner and shop around. I was thinking chipotle or something along those lines, but he has been dying to try this ENORMOUS Hibachi buffet. So...... we tried it. I went in knowing exactly what I would be getting. The food was terrible, so my plan didn't work out so well. I stayed under calories (to the best of my knowledge) but my choices weren't all that nutritious. 

    For South Bend people, this place is near the mall. I wouldn't eat there again. 

    After dinner, we shopped around the mall for a bit, but didn't find anything. I was looking in the Apple store for some new headphones, but I didn't really find any. 

    Currently I have been wearing these, and I hate them. They are constantly falling out of my ears because my ears are too small for them. They also hurt if i wear them longer than an hour. All the earbuds i've ever tried have hurt my ears, so I decided to try some over the ear ones. 

    We drove over to Best Buy, and spent forever trying to find the best over the ear headphones. Finally a BB guru came and told me about the Jaybird Freedom Sprint earbuds. I was a little skeptical, as I don't like earbuds, but these come with different sizes. We ended up buying them, and so far they are okay. I put on the smallest pads and the smallest earbud covers, and they fit well. I'm just not sure yet if I want to keep them, or get some over the ear ones. Decisions, decisions. 

    Jaybird Freedom Sprint
    On another note, I need to download some songs for running. Pandora EATS my battery! I'd love your suggestions! 

    ps- my very first giveaway is in the works! Stay tuned...